Dear Supreme Commander,

MC Pee Pants checking in with you…but, sadly I’m not here to report a kill. I’m here to offer some advice to these would be killers. You see, common traits associated with assassins include: stealth, surprise, cunning, deception, subtlety, creativity. Some of your assassins do take such words to heart. Others, like the fellow in the attached pic, do not. This fellow was spotted on the L train this evening sporting black pants tucked into combat boots and a rather cumbersome looking tactical vest. He brandished an orange super soaker like he was patrolling Penn Station…this fellow does not look like an assassin…more like a bike messenger that watched the Blade films one too many times. The fool happily conversed with strangers (regretfully…not even women) about the nature of our game and loudly proclaimed his target and how he intended to dispatch him.

Another guy was spotted not ten minutes later on Bedford – walking his dog and holding his super soaker in plain sight. My dear killers – assassins do not walk dogs. Hell they shouldn’t even own one – cats are a killer’s best friend. I would have snapped another pic but I would have had to get too close…and assassins do not take unnecessary risks.

Anyways kids…good luck and see you on the streets. But don’t make it so easy, ok?

For an attempted assassination, there sure was a lot of giggling going on.

"I'm going to feel pretty good about shooting someone, if I don't die first,'' said would-be assassin Nicole Califano, who was drinking a beer, which was not helping to steady her trigger finger any.

Califano is one of 130 contestants armed with water pistols who are stalking each other this month throughout San Francisco, waiting to ambush and squirt total strangers.